Monthly Adoption Update

This month has been more heart-work than paperwork. Paperwork is cake compared to this business. I have gotten to know Jesus a whole lot better this month. I wish I could share all the details, but I filled about half of a journal up this month with said details and I'm guessing you don't want to go there.

So let's sum it up. We had a few final decisions and tasks to finish up for our homestudy this month. God has been so faithful in clearly leading and guiding our every step up to this point in the adoption that I haven't looked back. And then suddenly I doubted. Reality hit. Fear crept in. I wanted to run. I was confused. Peace was no where to be found. Prayers and Scripture searching were priority. The phrase that kept echoing in my head was "in my heart I want to do this, but in my head I can't". Translation: I think I hear God's voice calling us to step out in faith, but the very real circumstances of life seem insurmountable. I've been struggling with worldly wisdom vs. God's wisdom and questioning my motivations. This is starting to sound like crazy rambling (which I did a lot of this month...a big shout out to all who so patiently listened to my rants and thought I may be bipolar).

I started to feel like Peter, when Jesus called him to walk on water. Peter started off great, jumping out of the boat, but then began looking around at the storm and the waves, lost faith and started to sink. That was me, sinking (which looked more like freaking out and flailing around). And just as Jesus "stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?'" (Matthew 14:31), He caught me.

 When I thought I couldn't handle any more and had analyzed the situation to death, all of a sudden there was peace. The peace that really does "surpass all understanding" (Philippians 4:7), that is only from God. The storm was stilled. The funny thing is that not a single thing about our situation or circumstances had changed, just my heart had changed. Now I know that whatever happens, it is all God's power and not my own, because there is NO WAY I can do this on my own.

The song "Ocean" by Hillsong United has been on repeat this week in my casa. Listen and soak it in. If none of this blabbering made any sense, just know one thing: God is so good and He can be trusted. And that's a wrap.

Raspberry Bay

 Last weekend our family got away to a little slice of heaven in northern Wisconsin called Raspberry Bay. Everyone except my brother Isaac was able to be there (we missed you so much Isaac! Get your booty home one of these days!)

Memories were made, including:

• Epic games of Citadels (nerd city)
• Kayak/canoe adventures that didn't involve any near-drownings this year
• Morning walks in the neighborhood creeping on other cabins
• Trying to keep up with sibling super-runners on a jog
• Delicious meal after meal...after meal
• Heart to hearts in the hot tub with the girls
• Failing to convince Eleanore that Lake Superior will not hurt you
• Getting smoked out at the campfire
• Eleanore getting a whole lotta lovin'

All around, it was a weekend of rest, relaxation, fun and love. Thanks Mom and Dad for making it happen! Next August can't come soon enough. 

Grandpa knows the way to Ella's heart: raspberries

The men "socializing"

All this fun makes for one tired girl

Ethiopia, you say?

I have been putting off this post for quite some time. I think the reason for my procrastination is that I wanted to have some big exciting story describing how we chose to adopt from Ethiopia (cue dreams, visions, miracles, etc.). I don't have that story. But I do have a story of God's faithfulness in spite of my selfishness. And that is worth telling.

After having a clear calling to adopt, the next question was "where?". We first researched, discussed and prayed about the options of foster care, domestic, or international adoption. We truly believe that there is not one adoption route that is "better" or more important than another. Every child that is without a family is in need, no matter what part of the world they were born into. I love that every family's calling is different, that's how God gets things done! We were both drawn to international, which led us to "which country?". I read all the requirements for each country (some which included parents having a specific BMI...what the what?) and that narrowed it down. Ethiopia was one of the few we actually qualified for.

*Disclaimer: Ugly confession ahead. Please proceed with forgiveness.* At this point I must be honest and confess that I initially was against this since it seems that Ethiopian adoptions are so numerous and I hate to be a bandwagon jumper. (feel free to smack me in the face here) But after I got over my dumb pride and realized that this was the path laid out for us, I saw the amazing blessing in having a strong community of Ethiopian adoptive families around. Praise the Lord!

Since then, I have been steadily falling in love with this beautiful country and people from afar. I feel so honored and blessed to be able to welcome an Ethiopian child into our family. We have much to learn about their culture and heritage, but I can't wait to dig in and become an Ethiopian-American family.

Here's a little Ethiopia info from our adoption agency's website: http://www.westsandsadoption.org/ws/countries/ethiopia/

"Ethiopia is the oldest independent nation in Africa, a land of stunning natural beauty covering an area twice the size of Texas. It is a land of rich diversity of culture and geography. It is considered the cradle of civilization with the remains of “Lucy” dating 3.5 million years old and Homo ramidus afarensis dating 4.4 million years old. Over 80 languages are spoken, the national language being Amharic. The climate is dependent on the physical terrain and its position close to the Red Sea and the Indian Ocean. Much of the year is warm and pleasant in the Addis Ababa (the capital) area where you will be staying. There are two principal seasons, rainy from June to September and dry the rest of the year. Ethiopia retains the Julian calendar and has 13 months. We use the English or Gregorian Calendar when we plan your trip.
Ethiopia has a population of over 75 million people. Its main Religions are Muslim (45 to 50%), Ethiopian Orthodox (35 to 40%), animist 12%, other 3%. Its main exports are coffee, quat, gold, leather products, live animals, and oilseeds. Per Capita GNP is US $1,000. Life expectancy is 49 years.There are 500 people for every doctor. It has been estimated that there may be as many as 2,000,000 or more orphaned children living in Ethiopia."

Monthly Adoption Update

Whenever I write a monthly update, I feel like I am doing one of those pregnancy posts where you say "Week 16: Baby is the size of an avocado! Next week she will be a turnip!" So in fruit terms, I'm guessing we are at about the orange seed mark. (P.S.-I always thought the fruit comparisons were kinda weird. None of those fruits look anything like a child, am I right?)

What does this mean? We are finishing up our homestudy and had our last visit with our social worker, which feels like a big accomplishment. Now we wait for our social worker to finish the homestudy and we move on to the next paperwork step.

This stage feels like a lot of decision making, which I am notoriously horrible at. Don't ask me where I want to go out for dinner, because it will be breakfast time before I decide and you will still be hungry. I'm still struggling with the fact that I have anything to do with the decisions regarding what our next child will be like (gender, age, etc.). That kind of pressure is enough to freeze me into a state of indecision. God has been teaching me that walking in His will isn't always as easy as getting a "sign" from heaven and walking that way. Sometimes it is not knowing, praying, and stepping into the unknown with a heart of trust and obedience. If my heart is right before Him, is He really going to let me step outside of His will? I think not.

So here we are, one month closer. Praying and walking and growing.

Can't wait until we get to watermelon stage!