Heart Attack Thoughts

For those of you who haven't heard, my Dad had a heart attack last week. To say that it was a shock to all of us would be an understatement. I'm still trying to process what has happened in these last 7 days, so please excuse the random spillage of my heart here...

Long lost twins?

My Dad is a rock. Similar to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, minus the tattoos (although he does have a gnarly scar on his chest now). Being 55 years young, health problems weren't really on the radar. But besides being super strong, physically fit, and healthy as a horse, he has always been the steady leader of our family. So imagine how shaken I was when I found out that my dad had a minor heart attack on Friday that led to finding out he had some major blockages in his heart requiring open heart surgery on Monday. I was not prepared for this. No, he is too young, too healthy, too important...it's safe to say I was in denial. As my family and I tried to reconcile with all this new scary information, God stepped in to teach me a few things.

Can there be any good out of something as horrible as a heart attack? With God running the show, you better believe it. I know that my Dad probably has a different perspective, since he is the one physically suffering here, and I would love to have him share about that here someday. I am not trying to downplay AT ALL what he has gone through, in fact I can't even imagine that kind of pain. So these are just my personal thoughts.

First of all, I love the little glimpses of God's goodness in the details. For example, when my Dad passed out after his heart attack at the YMCA, he was found by a family friend who called my mom right away (who promptly came and convinced him to go to the hospital when he did not want to go). My parents were also scheduled to spend a week in Costa Rica with my studying-abroad sister this week. Praise the Lord this didn't happen while they were traveling in Central America. Dad also had a "warning" heart attack a few weeks ago where he passed out but never told anyone. This one was his second chance. I have seen family and friends pour out love, support and prayers that bring me to tears.

At our family Thanksgiving celebration this year, my cousin set up a cute little tree with leaves on which you could write what you are thankful for this year. My cousin wrote "modern medicine and skillful surgeons". For some reason this one stuck with me, and my brother even gave it the "best thankful leaf" award at the time. Well, I was never more thankful for that exact thing until I found out the extent of my dad's heart condition and what would be required to fix it. It is truly amazing what God has allowed us to discover in the field of medicine and we are so blessed to have access to such great medical care.

Beyond this, my heart has been pondering life and death. When you are sitting in a waiting room knowing that your Dad's heart is stopped while they perform surgery and a machine is pumping blood through his body, you can't help but grasp the delicate nature of this earthly life. I cannot imagine life without my Dad, and thanks to God's grace and great medical care, I don't have to. But all of our time here is so short in the grand scheme of things. What really matters? And what doesn't? I'm convinced that the quality of life is so much more important than the quantity. Just as I would rather have one perfect piece of dark chocolate than one hundred off-brand M&Ms, I would also rather live a short life full of love, joy and purpose than a long life of selfishness and meaninglessness. And I am so thankful to have found true purpose, in knowing the one, true God.

This experience has made me want to live with no regrets and leave nothing unspoken. (well, nothing good unspoken anyway...I'll still try to hold back my angry rants) There are no guarantees of second chances, although it seems that in His grace, God has given one to Dad at this time. I want to use this one chance I have at life not to live for myself and make this world my home, but to let the Lord use my life however would best honor Him. For us who have eternal hope in Jesus, there is nothing to fear in death, only assurance of a better life forever with him beyond the grave. I long for everyone to know this peace that I have only known in my relationship with Christ.

From Daddy...

...To Grandpa!

So Dad, I sit here tonight so unbelievably thankful that you are also sitting here reading these words. And I want to leave nothing unspoken: I love you more than I can say. You are the absolute best Daddy I could have ever asked for. I have never had to doubt your love, because your hugs and honest words spoke it to me every day. Your generosity amazes me and your passion for things that matter is contagious. You treat everyone with kindness and dignity, regardless of if they deserve it or not (except maybe the refs who makes those ridiculous calls against the Broncos...(-:) Your faith is true, I see Jesus in your daily life and want to follow those steps. You reflect the character of our heavenly Father and have taught me more than you know. All these words cannot express how much you mean to me and how thankful I am for you. Thanks for going through all of this nasty medical stuff so that you can continue to be the rock for our family. And I'm hoping for another epic Jackson Hole ski adventure one of these years...

All thanks and praise to my Jesus, who has blessed me beyond measure.

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which you were called in one body; and be thankful." - Colossians 3:15